ST. LOUIS — One in four kids say they have been bullied. It’s a cruel, isolating behavior that can leave kids and parents feeling helpless. It happens everywhere, even in some of our areas top rated districts. In the Lindbergh School District, the bullying got so bad for two boys they didn’t want to go to school anymore. Their parents, at their wit’s end, decided to take matters into their own hands.

Parents packed a room inside the St. Louis County Library’s Grants View branch. All of them share a common experience. They feel like they’ve done everything to help their child with bullying and they feel they have nowhere to turn.

Parent Robert Vogel said, “I think everybody was experiencing what my wife and I were experiencing with our son and I didn’t know that it was as prevalent as it was, meaning the bullying.”

Vogel and Erica Hoffman both have sons in the Lindbergh School District. Both say their boys experienced some form of bullying.

“It got to a point where we knew we had to do something because our son was going to bed at night crying and not wanting to wake up the next morning and go to school and that was absolutely gut-wrenching,” said Vogel.

In both cases, these parents say the district was helpful. The principals and teachers listened and took some action, but the problems continued.

Vogel explained, “we didn’t really have anybody to go to. We didn’t have anybody to see and sit and talk.”

So Vogel did what a lot of people do on social media. He reached out for help on the Lindbergh parents Facebook page.

“I just posted is anyone interested in having a discussion about anti-bullying education and I literally received dozens upon dozens of replies,” Vogel said.

Hoffman saw the post and the two immediately connected. They formed a group of their own.

“We needed to stand up for our kids and that’s how we came up with the name the Upstanders,” said Vogel.

That group has swelled to more than 400 other parents all sharing their own stories.

Hoffman said, “We have a lot of people that are kind of coming out of the woodwork now that saying this is happening. I’m glad that were able to help give them a voice to say something.”

Upstanders, as the group is called, has already hosted two meetings.

Their goal, to come up with a cut and dry policy for schools when it comes to handling bullying.

“There’s not a waterfall process that allows us to figure out how do we navigate or maneuver through this whole issue,” said Vogel.

The grassroots effort has taken off and some of its biggest supporters are board of education members, like Christy Watz.

“There’s more of this going on than we realize. Than anyone realizes, the principals, the parents, the teachers. There’s a lot of this going on,” said Watz.

Watz and administrators are thrilled parents are coming together to have the conversation.

“I want them to help us figure out how do help the students, help the families and how do we communicate to them?” Watz explained.

The collaboration is giving hope to parents like Renee McDonnell, who know now they’re not alone.

“It’s scary and sad and emotional and everything all wrapped into one that you know that it’s not just my kid but at the same time your like wow this is not just my kid you know other kids are having this happen to them to,” said McDonnell.

The processes these parents have come up with are still in the early stages, but here’s what they’d like to see happen in schools.

• When an incident occurs, the parents of both children involved are notified, a counselor gets involved and necessary action is taken.example:A 1-2-3 step process to handling each case. For
• A record is kept of each incident. Many parents say they felt these incidents weren’t filed away and no follow up was made. It was as if it never happened.
• A reporting process that’s more streamlined and easy for parents. The Lindbergh parents didn’t know there was an actual form they could fill out to report incidents because it was buried online in the school handbook.
• Put these policies out in the open on the walls of classrooms for teachers and students to see.

When we found out about this grassroots effort and the collaboration with the district, we wanted to help too. So, TISL’s Allie Corey reached out to Tina Meier of the Megan Meier Foundation to get her involved. You’ll remember, Tina’s daughter committed suicide after being bullied online. She’s since traveled the country speaking to schools about anti-bullying practices.